What does it mean to have the same pulse?
That you really understand that person. And everything that happens with them you are always in a state of preparedness. You can distinguish frivolous situations from fearsome ones. You have the ability to see those things even when they are not said.
I think I have upset you. I m on my way out and I know that its off limits, I understand. If this is another line with you, Ok, I ll talk to you in a few weeks then.
But you thought I was just fucking with you when I said I worry about you? You don’t even know. There are things that I can even find the words to write but I feel and think when I m not talking to you.
Pepper, I may not be the most sensitive man out there, but with you I m working on it.
I cant save you from that, that is too big a yoke for me to pull. And before you get to bent out shape, just listen, I m not saying that I want to save you, but you cant bear that weight forever.
I cant say that I m not familiar with the environment, but you knew I d discover that. I am genuinely interested in you as a person and I am concerned with how you are dealing with it. Listen, since you told it to me I was thinking about it and how it affects your personality. Because what you described as being bi-polar actually sounds similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Complex PTSD(and in your case specifically, Rape Trauma Syndrome). You re right I shouldn’t be talking about this until you re comfortable with it, but there are segments that are relevant to your life. The part of Borderline Personality Disorder that described some of the personality conflicts that affect rape victims like oversexualization or sex addiction, sexual promiscuity during the high phases of manic phases. Its mentioned things like the confusion is identity issues, the insecurity in yourself, the emotions of shame, anger, fear and guilt and the low self-esteem and feeling that sex was a substitute for affection. All of this to counter the feelings of helplessness degradation and powerlessness.
Played out in some light skin fruit cake fag cop fetish(personal bias all mine) as an additional attempt at being secure. To be safe at home.
For this I can safely say I love you Pepper. Not some pie in the sky, under the cherry moon, holding hands and white pickets fences bullshit that you are thinking. Nope. I don’t got that. I got feelings for you part like my little sister and part like the green leaf on a tree loves the tree its attached to. If anything the reason to hold you hand is to assure you that you’re not alone out here.
This shit don’t sound romantic because you re on the defensive right now, but you know I think I ve said too much today, so I m going to go.
I think I have upset you. I m on my way out and I know that its off limits, I understand. If this is another line with you, Ok, I ll talk to you in a few weeks then.
But you thought I was just fucking with you when I said I worry about you? You don’t even know. There are things that I can even find the words to write but I feel and think when I m not talking to you.
Pepper, I may not be the most sensitive man out there, but with you I m working on it.
I cant save you from that, that is too big a yoke for me to pull. And before you get to bent out shape, just listen, I m not saying that I want to save you, but you cant bear that weight forever.
I cant say that I m not familiar with the environment, but you knew I d discover that. I am genuinely interested in you as a person and I am concerned with how you are dealing with it. Listen, since you told it to me I was thinking about it and how it affects your personality. Because what you described as being bi-polar actually sounds similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Complex PTSD(and in your case specifically, Rape Trauma Syndrome). You re right I shouldn’t be talking about this until you re comfortable with it, but there are segments that are relevant to your life. The part of Borderline Personality Disorder that described some of the personality conflicts that affect rape victims like oversexualization or sex addiction, sexual promiscuity during the high phases of manic phases. Its mentioned things like the confusion is identity issues, the insecurity in yourself, the emotions of shame, anger, fear and guilt and the low self-esteem and feeling that sex was a substitute for affection. All of this to counter the feelings of helplessness degradation and powerlessness.
Played out in some light skin fruit cake fag cop fetish(personal bias all mine) as an additional attempt at being secure. To be safe at home.
For this I can safely say I love you Pepper. Not some pie in the sky, under the cherry moon, holding hands and white pickets fences bullshit that you are thinking. Nope. I don’t got that. I got feelings for you part like my little sister and part like the green leaf on a tree loves the tree its attached to. If anything the reason to hold you hand is to assure you that you’re not alone out here.
This shit don’t sound romantic because you re on the defensive right now, but you know I think I ve said too much today, so I m going to go.
posted by avolokitisvara at 1:26 PM
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